When I was a young booger factory I would count the days till Christmas. So excited was I to open my gifts especially the ones I had begged, annoyed, and threatened my mother to buy me. This year will mark the last time I will be on the receiving end of the gift giving tradition as next year will be Jagger’s first Christmas, putting me in my mother’s shoes. If Jagger is anything as good as me in the tactics of gift lobbying, then I am in for a lot of holiday insanity where parents line up right before the crack of dawn in cold, empty parking lots, preparing to bull-charge their way to grab the season’s hottest thingamajig for their child. 

So as my last hurrah before I join the other side, I thought it would only be fitting that I beg, annoy, and threaten for what I want this year. And all I want is the healthy birth of our son and Oreo’s restored health. That’s it. What’s your Christmas wish?

Have you been naughty or nice this year? If you’ve been listening too much to the little red guy on your shoulder, then you better hope that the elf wasn’t watching you.

“Who?”, you ask.

On the radio this morning a local talk show mentioned this stuffed elf doll conveniently named Elf on the Shelf. The idea, in all it’s simplicity is to leave the elf…on the shelf.

“Why?”, you ask.

To scare of course! Tell your child the elf reports directly to Santa. So if he sees you doing anything bad, Santa will know. That means no more red tricycle, no more Barbie doll, no more Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time. All because the elf Judased you. Simple right? Is this an innovative idea? Or just the start of your kid’s psychotherapy?

You can further increase its effectiveness by taking the elf away at night. Why? Because he’s gone to the North pole to talk to Santa. That’s realism 101.

All in all, It sound like a good idea to me, but I’m not sure the execution is spot on. I think the doll is not the correct elf to use. I have a feeling it has those types of eyes that no matter where you stand, it always seems to be looking at you. I don’t want to checking on my boy at night and he’s in the corner of the room rocking back and forth.

Mary and I kicked off the start of the holiday season with a trip to a few local stores on Black Friday. Broke and exhausted, we came back with several stockings for every member of the family. 

My parents and I have never celebrated Christmas with holiday stockings. So this is a first for me. And what better way to start than with my favorite football team, the New York Football Giants.

From left to right the stockings belong to: Me, Jagger, the Bears, Oreo, and Mary. The Pooh Bear (2nd from left) sings too.

Behind the lamp, just above my stocking, it’s a little dancing New York Football Giants bear.

Pretty slick huh? I think Jagger will get tons of entertainment from these. Now I just have to stock up on AA batteries.