Marvyn+Mary

I’ve been discussing the age rules for a while with family/friends and I thought I’d put this to writing somewhere. What are the age rules you ask? It’s my list of things I would stop doing with/for Jagger at certain ages. I just feel it would get a little odd at that point that it should be stopped.

Wiping his bum

I know of a family member who’s had his nanny wipe his bum well after he had hair on his chin. I’m not looking to break the record or even come close to it.

Verdict: I think when Jagger is about 4 he should be potty trained to wipe back there on his own. He may need the occasional helping hand, but big boys don’t want daddy standing over them while they’re on the potty.

Spoon feeding 

I’m a little unsure about this one. I was a picky eater when I was a child, and I still am. I may turn eating into a game of some sort — C’mon Jagger, show me how the piggies eat!

Verdict: Once he’s able to eat with a spork, it’s done deal. 

Competition mercy

There’s a Simpsons episode where Homer and Bart take their competition too seriously in a boxing video game. Homer pays a pro to teach him all the tricks in the game and when they finally rematch, Homer completely dominates Bart. And in Homer’s shining moment right before the knockout punch, Marge pulls the power cord to the telly.

Verdict: How do you think Mary would look with tall blue hair?

Showering with him

He’ll probably be a little intimidated showering for the first time  — Not by me, but by the shower itself. So I’ll have to show him the ropes. I don’t mind teaching him, but when he starts identifying body parts it will be good times. I know other parents do this, but it’s not something I remember in my childhood. 

Verdict: Boardshorts. No problem.

Kissing on the lips

I let my bear know that I love him all the time. But he’s in a suspended age of a cub.

Verdict: I think when he starts walking. I’ll always hug him.